Wedding vows can make or break a wedding and the importance of the wedding vows in a personalized ceremony cannot be over-emphasized. These are the spoken promises of each person’s intentions and can actually set the whole tone of the marriage.
While some couples elect to use the traditional words provided by the marriage ceremony officiate, others choose to invest a part of themselves in the words they will speak to each other. This is often seen as an expression of love and commitment that might not be expressed fully otherwise.
For those who elect to write their wedding vows, they often find the process much more difficult that they had first anticipated. Too often, they can get caught up in a debate with themselves as to what sounds the best and forget the most important thing. The vows are meant to be a pledge of love and a commitment to the future of another person, and they don’t have to impress anybody.
Therefore, forget about what anyone might think about your wedding vows and simply speak from your heart to the person you promising your life too. Forget flowery words and impressive phrases, let what you are truly feeling on this occasion be the guide. Be yourself as you express your intentions for the future of this marriage.
Your vows should be sincere and yet be totally comfortable as you enter a new stage of your life. Your focus should be on your partner and your future together, and should apply to your situation. Don’t try to take someone else’s vows and make them fit you; that never works.
After writing your vows, practice speaking them out loud. If they don’t just flow out of your mouth, then try rewording them so that you can more easily say what you are trying to express. If you just can’t get comfortable with the way something sounds, and rewording it doesn’t help, then simply eliminate that particular idea or statement from the vows.
Personalized wedding vows should always “fit” the tone of the wedding ceremony itself. If the ceremony is a formal affair, then the vows should be equally formal and solemn. However, if the wedding ceremony is more casual and relaxed, then the vows can also be more laid back and simple. In other words, a formal, reserved wedding is not the place to try to perfect your comedy routine while reciting your vows.
In a more casual ceremony, promising to take out the garbage or to serve breakfast in bed on every 3rd anniversary are a perfectly acceptable humorous additions to your wedding vows. However, the humor should never be sexual, contain inside jokes or anything that will make any member of the wedding party or the audience uncomfortable.
To avoid any uncomfortable surprises during the ceremony, the bride and groom should read each other’s vows well in advance of the ceremony. After all, the wedding vows are supposed to express one’s love and commitment, and should never cause embarrassment or hurt feelings on what is supposed to be the most important day of a person’s life.
Often it is the use of humor in the wedding vows that can make or break a wedding…maybe even the marriage. So use humor judiciously, speak truth in love and have a great wedding.
