There is a big difference between making the decision to get married and actually planning your wedding. When you and another person decide to get married, you are making the choice to love and commit to each other until the day you die. That is a pretty big choice in and of itself, so when it comes time to plan out the big day it is no surprise that many couples find themselves overwhelmed.
For most people, their wedding day is essentially the biggest all day event/party they will ever be in charge of planning. It involves all the people who are most important in your life, so of course you want every little detail to be perfect.
The secret to staying on top of things while you are planning your wedding day is to do them one step at a time. Take a deep breath and don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. Here are a few step-by-step tips to help you get started.
Step 1 – Pick your theme.
Are you looking to have a very formal black tie affair or is this more of a laid back casual wedding? Are you trying to incorporate some particular theme (season/destination wedding/etc…) or do you want to keep things simple?
The best way to answer these questions are to sit down with your partner and talk about what each of you would like to happen in an ideal world. Talk about the setting and the atmosphere and the food. See where you agree and disagree. Compromise. Not only is it a good way to settle on a theme it is also good practice for your actual marriage.
Step 2 – How much can you afford to spend?
Did you know that the number one thing that married people fight about is their finances? It’s true! So don’t get off to a bad start and go into debt just so you can have your ceremony in Tahiti and your reception in Maui. There are other ways.
Start by figuring out how much you have in your savings, how much you can save on the big day, and whether or not either of your parents are going to be helping to foot the bill. When you have your number you need to stick to it!
Once you have the budget number you might consider opening a special checking account for the wedding so that you can rack up some frequent flier miles for the honeymoon. Make sure you keep up on the payments though!
Step 3 – Who is going to be in the bridal party?
If you are having a casual affair and didn’t plan on having a bridal party then head right on to step four. If you do want to have attendants then there are a few things to consider.
Remember that being a bridesmaid or groomsman is more than just a title. They have actual responsibilities on your big day as well as leading up to it. So while your old college roommate might make for a great time, your sibling might make a slightly more appropriate best man or maid of honor speech.
Other practical things to consider are how far these people will have to travel, how much they can afford to spend on apparel for the day, and how much free time they have to help you prepare for the big day. Which leads us to Step 4…
Step 4 – Call for backup.
You can’t do this alone. You can try, but you might lose your mind in the process. Start off by talking to your friends and family who have gotten married recently. Mom and dad are great and all but they got married 30 years ago and the industry has changed.
Better yet, call married people you know who live nearby. They will be the greatest asset you have to getting references for DJs, photographers and facilities for both the ceremony and the reception.
You are also going to need backup in the form of reading material. Start by finding some sort of overall wedding checklist on the Internet. You don’t want to forget anything. Pick up bridal magazines and books. The Internet works for a lot of things but if you have a book you can physically take it to the florist or whoever and say, “I want this.”
Step 5 – The venue search.
Hopefully through talking to your friends you might have a lead on picking out your venue for the ceremony and reception. Otherwise, you are going to have to hit the streets. Check online forums and call around.
Another good trick is to ask a local wedding photographer. Even if it isn’t a photographer you want or can afford to hire, you have to figure that these people make their living by going to different venues in your area. If anyone knows what the best places are, it is them.
When you are going through all of the stages of planning your wedding it is important to not let yourself get too crazy. Yes, it is going to be stressful, but it is also going to be fun. Get creative when a problem comes your way. And don’t forget that while you want the perfect wedding day, all that your friends and family care about is that you and your new spouse live a happy and harmonious life together.
