Weddings are often very different than they were fifty years ago. Given all of these changes, it is easy to find that there are clashes between the most traditional rules of weddings and how things actually occur in the third millennium. In this article, I will discuss those changes, and how some of the rules of fifty years ago can be bent and even broken. If you want to do things a little differently, this article discusses what has changed in the last fifty years:
Active Grooms: Fifty years ago, the groom’s job was basically to show up. This has all changed. Grooms are often just as involved in the planning of a wedding as the bride. They take responsibility for various aspects of the wedding, depending on the needs and interest of the couple. This takes a lot of pressure on both the bride and the bride’s family, who were traditionally responsible for all of the arrangements.
Attendants: It is no longer considered necessary to have attendants of the same sex. Brides may have male attendants and grooms may have female attendants. This is true even of best men and maids of honor (they are called “honor attendants” in this case). It is also no longer considered necessary to make sure that you have exactly the same number on each side.
Expenses: In previous generations, the costs of the wedding were almost exclusively borne by the father of the bride. This is becoming less and less the case. As the bride’s parents are no longer automatically expected to pay, be sure you figure out who will be paying for the wedding before making any big decisions. Be sure to be especially grateful for any assistance, as it is no longer considered an expectation but a gift.
Second Weddings: Almost half of all weddings in North America today include at least one person who has been married before. This creates some added complications to wedding planning. Consider how you are to include children, if they wish to participate. Further, be aware of two rules of etiquette when it comes to second weddings. First, children should be the first to know of a wedding, even before parents. They should be spoken with alone so they may express any concerns. Second, it is usually considered polite to tell a former spouse yourself. A phone call should be sufficient. You generally don’t want him or her to hear about it “through the grapevine”.
Destination Weddings: Today, going to a destination wedding is quite common. Couples will go to another country and be married to a beach or a local church. Usually, because of the expense, such weddings are quite small consisting of close family and friends only. Fifty years ago, this would have been unheard of and would have been basically considered eloping. Today, it is quite acceptable and is chosen by many couples. Be aware that that there are issues both in civil and church laws that you need to sort out before you leave.
