It’s only one day, gentlemen – that is the primary thought to keep in your head. After the wedding day, of course, you can feel free to spend as many hours as you wish sporting a two-day stubble and your hair resembling a flattened squirrel. Well, we should say, as many hours as your new wife will tolerate – and don’t expect miracles in that department.
For your actual wedding day, however, the groom has just got to be properly groomed – or, for the rest of your married life, your spouse will be pointing emphatically at the large framed wedding picture of you two on the shelf and explaining in great detail just how horrible you look and why. She may do that anyway, but why aid the effort?
Here are a few general tips on how to look like a star as you walk down the aisle – and, when we say “star,” we’re talking Brad Pitt, not Seth Rogan.
It all really happens at the barbershop – Make a barber appointment well in advance of the morning of your nuptials – so you make sure to get in with your favorite barber at the time you wish to be attended to. And this is not the time for a Supercuts special or a quickie at the mall. Go to a quality barbershop that offers a lot of extras.
Your face will end up being constantly photographed – much to your horror. So get a mini-facial, if it’s available, as well as having what we call “The Gent’s Wax” – which involves getting your ears, nose and eyebrows attended to so you don’t resemble the Wolfman. That would confuse many people, especially if it’s not even a full moon.
Then, you must – we repeat, must – have a professional straight razor shave. We don’t want to say your face will end up smooth as a baby’s bottom – we really don’t like the imagery – but a skilled barber will leave you with a soft and silky magnificence. Whereas if you attempt to shave yourself, your nerves causing your hands to shake like Britney Spears in her latest music video, you just might wind up walking up the aisle with little pieces of toilet paper stuck to your various facial cuts. Not a good look.
Finally, let’s talk hair. Obviously, this isn’t the time to experiment with a Mohawk or the Bruce Willis’ chrome cranium look. Work with what the Lord gave you and what your barber knows he or she can do with it. You may want to get the haircut a couple days before the wedding if you tend to want to spend the hours immediately following a trim hiding under your desk at work. You know your hair. You know what works. Go with that – and when in doubt, let your barber be your guide.
Make yourself look good – maybe even spring for the above treatments for your groomsmen – but, whatever you do, don’t make yourself look too amazing (if that’s an option – with many of us, we don’t have to worry about that ever being a possibility). It’s your bride’s day to shine – you merely have to appear to not have anything wrong with you. It’s harder than it sounds – but we’re sure you can pull it off, with the help of a quality barbershop that specializes in serving fine gentleman.
You might as well look your best before you spend the rest of your married life in old sweat pants and that ripped Nike t-shirt watching ESPN. Take it from us – your future wife will love you for it. The wedding day part, we mean, not the old sweat pants part.
