If a buddy of yours asks you to be a groomsman in his wedding, you should seriously consider the scope of the responsibility before you consent. Many people consider the role of groomsman to be quite an honor, and you should think about all of the tasks that are involved in order to insure that you can fulfill this role for your friend.
First and foremost, you may wish to estimate the expense of being a groomsman. It is likely that you will be asked to pay for suit or tuxedo rental, travel and hotel costs, contribution to a bachelor party, and a wedding gift. You may also be asked to contribute to wedding weekend activities, such as a guys’ golf outing the day before. If you would like to be a groomsman but are unsure of whether you can handle the financial responsibility, don’t be afraid to discuss this with your friend. Possible ways that you can save money include wearing a nice suit that you already own, carpooling with other guests, staying overnight with friends or family members of the groom rather than at a hotel, and throwing a casual bachelor party, such as a barbecue at a park or a poker night at a friend’s house. You may also wish to ask the other groomsmen if they would like to come together to purchase one, nice combined gift.
Now cost aside, you have several other responsibilities as well. Prior to the wedding day, a groomsman should:
- Support the groom emotionally
- Assist the groom in selecting what the groomsman will wear during the wedding
- Volunteer to attend pre-wedding activities with the groom, such as suit fittings
- Attend all necessary pre-wedding events, such as co-ed showers, engagement parties and bachelor parties
- Help to plan and pay for the bachelor party
On the day of the wedding, a groomsman should:
- Support the groom emotionally
- Help the groom to relax and get dressed
- Offer attention to detail, making sure all groomsmen’s tie knotsare well done and tuxedos are fitted properly
- If there are not separate ushers, usher wedding guests to their seats
- Help to decorate the bride and groom’s “getaway” car
- Dance with the bridesmaids and other single female guests at the reception
- Help to carry presents away from the reception location
- If you are the Best Man, you will be responsible for holding the rings during the wedding and making a toast at the reception
Your most important job as a groomsman is to play a supportive role. The reason the groom has asked you to stand up in his wedding with him is that he wants your physical, mental and emotional support. Make sure that you are on time for all scheduled events, if not early. On the day of the wedding, ensure that you have all of the appropriate small garment items, such as cufflinks, tie accessories, a cummerbund, and dress socks. Go out of your way to show courtesy to the family of the bride and groom. You can help to be sure that everyone is all smiles, and feeling relaxed on the day of the wedding.
