Changing Times, Changing Etiquette…
Whilst Asian wedding gift registries have become a widely accepted practice in the mainstream, they are still a new and somewhat frowned upon concept at British Asian weddings. According to the traditional Asian mindset, there seems to be something inherently greedy and undesirable about actually telling your guests what you would like for your wedding!
Fortunately, wedding etiquette is constantly changing, particularly so amongst British Asians. The wedding registry concept is particularly relevant for Asian brides and grooms, most of whom will have been living with their parents, or at least not living together before their Asian wedding. They will be starting married life in a new home and a wedding registry will help get home making off to a good start. More importantly they can avoid the “ten toaster syndrome”, in other words, getting duplicate gifts, which they either don’t want or don’t need!
We are pleased to note that several British Asian couples have already started to make use of wedding lists and will hopefully become trendsetters for the rest to follow. We encourage you to do the same!
“It’s Better To Give Than It Is To Receive”
Setting up a wedding registry shouldn’t be a matter of awkwardness or embarrassment. Don’t forget that wedding lists aren’t just about receiving; they’re about giving too. Rather than demanding gifts, you’re actually helping your friends and family give you something that you will really want and cherish.
Whether you want them to or not the people you invite to your Asian wedding will almost always want to celebrate the occasion with a gift, so your wedding list is just as valuable to them as it is to you. Bear in mind however that no wedding guest is obliged to buy you a present at all, list or no list, but most do, so why not give them the opportunity to buy you something that you want!
What To Include In Your Registry…
Hopefully you are now convinced that wedding registries are the way to go, so how should you go about setting one up? Obviously there’s more to creating a dream wedding registry than going to a store and grabbing a clipboard and scanner. You need to start by thinking about what items you’ll need for your new household.
The first step is to take inventory of the things you and your fianc©e already have, talk about the style of home you’d both like and then visit shops together to search for items that would be suitable. Make sure that the items you choose, are those which you’ll both enjoy in your future life together and not just for one or the other of you. The items you include in your registry should only be limited by your imagination. Be as creative as you want and let your registry speak volumes about your taste and style as a couple.
Having said this, it’s important to keep some sort of perspective. Sort out the “must haves” from the “love to haves”, in other words before you get carried away with asking for luxuries and the latest gadgets make sure you cover all the essentials. Most stores offering a registry facility will be able to provide you with comprehensive checklists of all the items you will need to start up a new home – some of which you have possibly overlooked.
Make sure that your list covers a wide range of value of items, so that people can give you gifts according to their budget and affections. Remember that older guests will probably want to buy you more traditional gifts and younger guests will want to get you things they are more appreciative of.
Have The Courage To Be Different…
If you already have all the household goods you will ever need, or china and bed linen don’t really do anything for you, don’t be afraid to put more unusual gifts on your list. These could include donations to a charity on your behalf, contributions towards a new car, unique experiences like flying lessons or contributions towards your honeymoon. Whatever you choose make sure that it something which you want and which you can both enjoy together.
Putting The Stores To The Test…
Once you know what you are looking for, its time to evaluate the various shops where you could have your registry. There are no limits on the number
of stores that you can register with and ultimately, the type of gifts you want will determine where you register. Most stores now offer online wedding registries, which make life easier for out of town guests and others who prefer the ease of ordering gifts online. Whichever stores you shortlist, here are a few key areas to investigate.
Selection: What range of products, brands and price ranges does the store carry?
Delivery: The best registries will deliver to any address saving you the hassle of ensuring that your gifts reach the right place.
Tracking: How will the retailer keep track of your registry? How fast after a gift is bought will the purchase be reflected on the list. Big retailers should have a computerized online systems that are updated frequently
Exchanges: How long is the exchange and return period? What are the terms? The exchange and refund policy is crucial. You don’t want to end up with any duplicate items or get back from your honeymoon and find that you have a few days left to return any items you don’t want.
Sealing The Deal: Once you decide on a registry program(s), fill out the appropriate forms that should include a list of your products. Ask for a master list and read it carefully to make sure there are no mistakes, Double check the mailing address for where gifts will be sent. Last but not least get the business card of the person who helped you set up the registry so that you have a point of contact for future questions or problems.
Announcing Your Wish List…
Your registry should be up and running approximately three to four months before your wedding, around the time that you are getting your invitations printed, so that you can include all the necessary details.
It is becoming increasingly acceptable to send out details of your registry or the list itself, with the invites, if only to avoid circulating lots of pieces of paper. You can also include your registry information on your personal wedding website, if you have one.
Keep Your Registry Up To Date…
A good registry will automatically update your list every time a purchase is made. However make sure to visit your registry often in the weeks leading up to your wedding, to update it with additional selections as products are purchased. This will ensure that all your guests can give you presents, which suit their taste and budget.
After The Wedding…
After the wedding you may like to complete your registry yourself and purchase all the remaining items on your registry. Many stores offer this option at a discount. Alternatively you may like to keep your registry open for a few months after your wedding, so that those who have not had a chance to do so can present you with a gift.
Don’t forget to be gracious and let your guests know when their gifts have arrived. Thank you notes should be sent out as soon as possible after your honeymoon and in all notes be sure to mention the gift by name, so that your friends and family know that their gift has been appreciated!
